Sounds were yelled at me.
I felt a glass protecting myself.
I felt vibration but understood no word.
Emotionless, I stared ahead blankly.
I started nothing, and remained unmoved.
I kept my class and composure.
You barked at the top of your lungs.
Serenity was always with me.
At first sight, he approached her.
Her dark side.
Of significance in my life.
Wandering heartsick in the tremendous ocean,
I frantically search for you again.
The meaning, the purpose, the dream –
What you used to bring me –
They were making fun of each other,
Playing with the overcooked broccoli,
Looking through the window to smile at fluffy clouds.
They were about to breathe new air and embrace the sun.
The confessions, apologies they were going to make,
The opportunities they were going to take.
Smiley faces and heartwarming feelings.
Their loves, their families, their dreams.
Pumping beats into my ears,
My eyes are closed in pleasure.
I feel every drop of music.
My heartbeat goes parallel with the bass.
A miniature me inside my head
Moves to the music.
Sitting so still with earphones on,
They think I am just another visitor napping.
No, it’s not you,
It’s me –
That sums up everything you’ve said to me.
Whatever the problem is,
It’s because of me.
You did something wrong
Because of me.
You didn’t do something right
Because of me.
There’s a problem,
It must be me.
No, of course it’s not you,
Feet on the ground,
My humble wish stays the same
Regardless of what happened.
Yesterday no longer rules.
Today is the key.
You are my tomorrow.
He pleasured me.
Bathed in flames,
My mind was on the edge of reality.
I pulled his collar,
He made me pull even harder.
Rationality hit me out of nowhere.
I pick myself up from yesterday,
Stabbed by fragments,
I walk on.
Step after step,
I walk every inch with blood, sweat and tears.
People see but don’t understand.
The destinations are so far
That mirage is all I see.
I remember where I started
But I never look back.
Eyeing straight ahead,
Having walked miles,
I fully understand there are many more miles to go.
This milestone marks another page of my life.
My progress changes, the view changes, the people change,
Yet something never changes.
Petals so dry they can break into ash at any moment.
Exhaustion pulled away all dew.
A greyish petal falls off,
Causing mold to spring into the dusty air.
Dropping the black rose onto the cracked desert soil,
I mourn the death of love.