The First Lesson

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I still clearly remember what I learnt from the very first dance lesson in my life.
I was five.
‘We are magical ice cream,’ said Miss Lee. ‘We never melt.’
And so I never melt.
I keep my body very straight. I keep that pride and confidence of a dancer, head held high.
Let’s dance our ways through the world as magical ice cream =)

The Qualification

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I don’t know when it started, but there is a major inflation of qualification.
A name followed by a dozen titles and qualifications.
Genuinely?
I never really doubted until once I applied for attending a workshop with a speaker who has ‘PhD’ following the name.
I applied mostly because of the title.
The workshop turned out to be a very general and entry-level presentation of information that is either known facts or can be easily found on the Internet.
Okay, maybe although she was a PhD holder, she wanted to make the workshop approachable and comprehensible.
When the Q&A session came, my disappointment soared. The audience expected her to be able to discuss anything within the field, if not to give her very own concrete viewpoints on different aspects of the domain. Nothing. She knew nothing. She got asked a series of questions, not too in depth (they were asked by ‘ordinary people’ without a ‘PhD’). She asked back what this meant what that meant what this was what that was. After being explained thoroughly by the audience members to her (way more educational than her presentation), her answers were either very vague and simple (answers that could be given by anyone in or out of the field) or ‘Sorry, I didn’t read about that.’
What?
Everybody was so speechless, feeling extremely embarrassed for her.
Of course, she cannot represent the whole academia or society. Yet, her painfully obvious incapability tells something. There is a wave of qualification inflation. Authorities which stand for knowledge, training and skills supposedly are somehow giving out qualifications for something else.
Perhaps it’s money.
Definitely not fame though. Having a bunch of graduates or members that are underqualified or even unqualified does no good to the authority. It would be rather stupid if this is actually the case – that the authority sell titles. First, it’s bad to the person, for he or she gets something that he or she is not capable of (yet), either knowingly or innocently. Both are bad enough. Second, it’s bad to the aurthority itself, for that degrades the prestige and respect. Third, it’s bad to other people who are capable and have got qualifications from this same authority. The underqualified people bring down the quality of such a title, making the qualified ones victims. Fourth, it’s bad to the public in general. Qualification inflation is an unhealthy and unhelpful phenomenon to the employers, jobseekers and the next generations. PhD? Everybody has got one because everybody can and should get one. What does PhD mean when everybody is one and when people who have no clue about their professional field hold such a title as well?
The underqualified / unqualified person is also to blame. Striking to learn and to be better is absolutely a good thing. Titles are nice, but they mean absolutely nothing (or can even become a burden to the person) if they don’t mean what they are meant to mean. When granted a title, you are not only expected to be knowledgeable of your thesis, but also an expert in (or at least a scholar who is able to discuss) topics within the whole professional field. Prestige or knowledge are by no means commodities. Titles should be recognition of your knowledge, skills and training rather than recognition of merely the time and money you spent on taking courses and writing that one thesis.
Inflated qualification is extremely embarrassing to yourself, insulting to the authority, and disappointing to others.

The Balance

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No matter how much you love someone, you can’t deny that you live for yourself.
No, it’s not a crime.
You can do a lot for your love.
You can call them every morning. You can drive to their place every day. You can get them the best gifts.
However, they are not the only real meaning and sole purpose of your life.
It’s a type of necessary art to keep yourself balanced in life.
The amount of love, care, attention and sacrifice you have and can give is certainly not reserved for just one person.
You yourself need that, your family need that, your friends need that.
But, some say, if you truly really love that someone, why would you calculate in such a realistic way? Love is blind.
Right, love might be blind, but everybody has their own feelings. Everybody face constraints.
No one is the centre of the world.
It’s your life. Live it your way. Keep the balance.

The Denial

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No, we will never be together. He’s too young for me!
Nah, we’ll never make it if we start a relationship. We’re like brothers!
No, he’s too beautiful. I’ll feel so bad to stand next to him all the time!
Denials.
And so we set meaningless rules upon ourselves.
I’m not dating guys over 5 years older or 5 years younger than me. I’m not dating any of my old friends. I’m not dating this and that kinds of guys…
When these categories of guys approach you, you freak out. The rules, the rules, the rules. Remember the rules!
The meaningless rules restricting your potential reaches.
True love is not choosing the one that fits the ‘perfect’ image you made up in your mind.
True love is the passion, the care, the feeling you have for that person.
We were working at the same company. I thought I would never let myself start something romantic with coworkers. I was moved by him anyway.
We have known each other for years. I thought I would never sense that sparkle of chemistry and accept his dates. I was wrong.
We are from different cultures. I thought I could never compromise. I did a great job blending into his life.
Yes, people will keep on denying.
As soon as the denied situations are happening, we will all understand how minor those limiting rules are, and how tremendous love is.

The Disappointment

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Way before it meant to happen, you believed you were picking up hints everywhere from everybody.
People were pre-congratulating you on that.
All the happenings were implying you were going to succeed in getting that.
Of course! You had done so much about that and you totally deserved that.
It’s totally going to happen.
Wrong.
It turned out to be false hope.
You thought too much. You were too optimistic. You were overly confident.
Your ego was shattered into pieces.
You needed so much time to figure out that the only way to cope is to accept the painful reality.
But.
You feel disappointed because you care.
No expectation, no disappointment.
If you don’t have any expectation, are you living at all, or merely existing?

The Ex-periment (Part II)

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We became friends.
I had never been so wrong.
The truth is – we could never be pure friends.
We were not on the same page at all.
He gave that suggestion because he did not want to scare me away.
I initiated and suggested that because I felt we could be friends afterall as we had such a great connection – we were almost like bros.
For the whole time, he thought I was still interested.
As ‘friends’, at first we were just texting normal.
Some time after, he started texting ‘I love you’ once a day.
It felt so so wrong.
I didn’t want or mean to hurt him, but the truth is, I realised, I had been hurting him.
‘I’m sorry I’m no longer interested… Can we just be friends?’
He didn’t say yes. Or no.
He tuned down.
He faded out.