The Rebound

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Ever felt you are lost, despondent and absolutely hopeless? Then all of a sudden something struck you. You rebounded. You took off and flew. Feeling ten times better than ever. A priceless feeling.
Second year of my university life, I worked too hard. The studies. The assignments. The tests, quizzes, exams. The interviews. The part-time jobs. The student duties I took up. The stress was tough.
We worked for a few consecutive days and nights on a student duty mission. On the last night, I collapsed. Bad luck.
My health was not the best before because of the stress and work. After collapsing, my condition was worse than ever.
I couldn’t focus during lessons.
I couldn’t even walk at a reasonable speed.
I was always out of breath, weak and shaky.
I got laughed at and mocked because of my poor health.
I thought I would die.
I wasn’t even 20 at that time.
No, I must do something. I have a whole lot of life ahead of me. I must make changes.
As soon as I felt better, I started training myself. Mild and occassional at first. More active and challenging on a regular basis not long after.
Today, I’m not the most muscular workout pro in the world. But, I’m definitely physically fit. I walk fast. I pick up heavy things without breaking a sweat. I feel happy and healthy. I’m never too shy to share with people how to get fit and strong.
To all those who mocked me, I send heartfelt gratitude.
Please, laugh at me more.

The Reappeared

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One of the Disappeareds has reappeared recently. This seems to be an unexplained phenomenon where disappeared special ones pop up from nowhere for no apparent reason known to you at some points in your life. Well, there must be some reasons but there is just no certain pattern or traceable logic flow.
After disappearing for half a year, he texted me, asking me for a favour which benefits his job. N-O NO. I did not reply at all.
Months after our clumsy breakup, he texted me again, claiming he missed me and wanted me back. So, he had not been missing me for months and all of a sudden he missed me?
After disappearing for a couple of months, he asked me about my life, the bit which was very relevant to him when we were close. I gave a short reply to settle down his curious mind. And, as expected, he disappeared again.
My initial conclusion to this phenomenon that keeps happening to my friends and me is that they are bored and think of you – meaning you have a place in their heart for whatsoever reason and at whatsoever weight. I do not quite buy the theory that they are simply looking for random hook ups with familiar people as it takes an incredible amount of courage to reach out again and the usual response is negative. Rejections are not easy to take. BUT. You never know the other side of the story, do you?

The disappeared

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Walking past places I went to with someone who has now disappeared from my life, the feeling of loneliness and emptiness struck me hard.
I went to that noodle bar with him the summer he pursued me. He brought me the book I asked him to help me buy with his discount privilege. The book was not heavy, and yet he insisted in holding it for me until we parted. He did me a favour, I felt the urge to treat him a meal. I offered to pay after he took the bill. The shock and disappointment in his face shocked and disappointed me. That was the last time we met with each other.
I went to this sweets and snacks shop with him, hand in hand. He bought some gifts for his friends. As we were leaving the shop, he took a box of chocolate from the shopping bag and gave it to me. ‘Sweet treat for my sweet girlfriend.’ That was a couple of months before he admitted that he had been lying to me the whole time about his identity.
I went to this fancy Italian restaurant with him. He was rich, not millionaire rich, but much richer than I am. He took me to expensive places. He had been offering me help in everything. I told him I wanted to treat him a meal to thank him, he agreed. Going to that Italian restaurant was my idea – the food was exactly what I wanted to treat him. That was a satisfying and joyful dinner. When the bill arrived, he snatched it and paid. I guess he felt a strong need to take care of me. We had some great memories together. One day, he disappeared.
Frustration digs deeper and deeped inside me as I fail one time, two times, three times… so many times. I often ask myself whether trying and persevering works. There seem to be so many things in this world that are so far away no matter how hard and how many times I try, I cannot succeed in having them in my hands. I have no idea how many more times of failure I can take in this maze…